Spirit of Oya

Energizing Through Music & Art

Get to know OYA with the FREE single “LOVE,” from her debut album Spirit of Oya. This groovy original shows OYA’s gifts as a songwriter and mixes together ingredients from R&B, Pop and Reggae into a flavorful treat. You’ll also be entered into a monthly drawing to win the

post title background How to create a space that will bring abundance

Where do you call home? Does it bring you joy?

What you surround yourself with, what you look at each and every day when you walk through your hallways should all make you feel vibrant, alive and happy!

When your environment is a crazy mess, you can’t feel at peace. When everything in your home makes you think of doom and gloom, pressure and stress, how can you find room for joy?

I believe in the idea that your body is your temple. I also believe that your home is your sanctuary. When you go home, you should breathe a sigh of relief the second you step in the door after a difficult day. It is a safe place where you should feel at peace.

Are you just not a neat person? Hey – it happens. But I encourage you to try to adopt a neat-er way of being. It can save you from the stress of trying to find missing things.

I know cleaning is not the most fun thing on the planet, but doesn’t it feel great to walk into a clean home … especially your clean home? If you think about that magical feeling, it will inspire you to take steps in the right direction.

I say this from a place of love: I challenge you to start taking steps to create the home environment of your dreams – the one where you are surrounded by ONLY things that make you feel joyful and want to be at home and at peace. You can help your environment help YOU manifest all you want in life.

Do you feel like you’re at war with your home? Are things broken, dirty, a mess … do you have clutter and a lot of things you just don’t use anymore? You and your home have to be in this together, living a life of joy and abundance! You must be harmonious.

Maybe you want a bigger, more luxurious space. Maybe you feel like every day you’re just holding out hope for that to come to you. It’s fine to want more, but where you are today at this moment is what will lead you to tomorrow, next month, next year and the place and time where you can have the home of your dreams!

You need to know that even if all you have is a modest small rental unit or a room, that is enough! We all started somewhere. But you also need to know that whining about your small space isn’t going to do anything but take up your valuable time.

I don’t want to sound like your mother, but, you MUST be thankful for what you have. Appreciate it and remember that there are people who do not have a space at all to call their own. If you are inside, in a bedroom, living room or somewhere else with a roof and walls, listening to me talk to you, you have a space that is yours – one that you can use to make your life start to blossom.

In the same way you honor your body, the home inside which your spirit lives, you need to honor your home! Your home is where you will create and become the best you can be. It is where you will start to believe in yourself so much that you will be able to make wonderful creations! Eventually, you will outgrow your space as your dreams take shape and help you prosper.

Today, let’s give thanks for our space and make a commitment to fill it with joy!

Star Point for the Week: Clear that clutter! That can start right now: Think about one thing in your home environment that no longer brings you joy. We all have one. Do you have something you are keeping around — a gift from an old boyfriend or girlfriend, a big clunky piece of broken-down furniture that is collecting dust in the corner — that no longer makes your heart sing? We all have one! What’s yours?

Star Action for the Week: Think about that one thing that no longer brings you joy, that’s just taking up space, bringing up bad memories, filling up your home with bad vibes. I think you know where I’m about to go with this. GET RID OF IT. Make a move to keep your home full of joy so you can clear that clutter and make space for your dreams to grow and thrive, so you can finally break free and be exactly who you are meant to be!

Don’t forget to tell me about all that’s happening with you. Post your comment on my Facebook page or YouTube channel. Let’s talk!

And remember, Rays of Light … don’t let anyone or anything dim your light!

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post title background How to defeat the Fear Monster

All of us pull back from achieving our dreams from time to time, because we are just plain afraid. Our dreams are so precious to us that when we find ourselves in a place where we can act on them, we are afraid to push ahead. Those nasty, worrisome thoughts crowd up our heads. Fear can be your worst enemy!

Do any of the following questions sound familiar?

“What if it doesn’t work, and I’m left with nothing?”

“What if I go for my dreams and find out I’m not strong enough or don’t feel good enough to achieve them?”

“What if bullies judge me, ridicule me or make fun of me because they think my dream is silly?”

I’m here to tell you that everyone is afraid of failure. All of us believe, from time to time that if we fail at achieving our dreams, we’ll have nothing left to live for. This fear can paralyze you, but you don’t have to let it. You can find out what is blocking you and what is holding you back … and to give resistance a voice, so you can shut fear up right here and now!

Believe me, you can do this! There was a time when I could only fantasize about making my Spirit of Oya CD. I dreamed about it for three years, but just never made it happen. I was writing songs, singing my little heart out, and I even had people at gigs asking me if I had an album for sale. I had some valid reasons why I could not go after it during that time, but some of them were just excuses. The truth is, when you really want to do something, you will do it, fear or no fear.

Until I truly decided that I was going to get this album done, committed to the process and took the action steps needed to bring it to fruition, that album was just not going to happen. It was only after I felt the need to finally create my own album in my soul, my gut and in my bones that I honored it, came up with action steps and made it happen!

We often pull back when we are afraid, even when we are going after something we really want. You must be bold and set aside the fear and take the action steps to live what is in your heart.

Let’s get real. You’re going to keep feeling fear when you come up against challenges in your life, and there is no magic formula that’s going to get rid of it. But you can find ways to muster up the courage to do things in your life that is heartfelt – to get through challenges in order to live your ultimate purpose.

I believe with all my heart that you can let go of fear, connect with the love of what is most important to you and trust yourself to move forward.

You may have heard me talk about energy and how it flows through the universe. (I talk about it a lot!) Well, energy can be positive or negative. And that’s why you need to be careful of how you think. You can create a reality from what is in your mind – good or bad!

So, why would you want to wallow in negative nonsense or fear the worst when you have an amazing mind and an imagination that is capable of fantasizing about all of life’s incredible possibilities?

Here’s my challenge to you. Say your dream out loud. Go ahead. I’ll wait!

Now, say THIS out loud and really live with it: “I am manifesting my dream and living my life’s purpose.”

Now, step through that fear and go for it! What do you have to lose? Don’t let another day, week, month or year go by, trapped by your fear. Run away from that fear monster as fast as you can and towards being the best you possible!

To get more positive messages visit my youtube channel www.youtube.com/spiritofoya
or simply go to youtube and type in THE OYA SHOW and subscribe so you don’t miss your weekly inspiration.

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post title background How to be a good listener

Listening is probably one of the most important skills you can develop in both your personal and professional life. No matter what industry you’re in, you will need to be able to listen to your clients and what they want so you can use your gifts to fulfill their needs.

Have you ever had a bad experience with someone who lacks listening skills? Isn’t it FRUSTRATING? We’ve all been in the situation – when we’re trying to purchase a product or a service or even when we’re just trying to communicate to a friend or a romantic partner – where we talk, and nothing seems to get through. Our words aren’t heard and things really go nowhere!

When your clients come to you, I encourage you to listen to them. You’ll also need to listen for clues that tell you what they want and how you can help them manifest what they want. Not everyone is great at communicating what they need and want, so sometimes you have to be able to let your ears dig a little deeper!

At the end of the day, your clients just want to be heard. When they feel heard and know you genuinely care, you’ll win them over for life!

Listening is truly a skill. If you want ultra fabulous listening skills, you have to work hard at them!

Learn to access your caring, empathetic emotions. When you truly care, you will become a part of the project the new client or collaborator is asking you to join in on. You’ll both feel totally invested, at east with each other and on the same page from the get-go!

Listening skills aren’t only for listening to your clients, collaborators and other people in your life. They are also for listening to yourself. Without your emotions in play, any dream you have is not going to work!

I’m going to say something bold that might go against what you’ve learned: You are the most important person in your life.

Does this sound selfish? It’s not! So many of us are taught our whole lives that we are supposed to take care of everyone else before ourselves – that this selfishness is to be admired and celebrated.

Are you a natural caretaker, always putting everyone else’s thoughts, feelings and needs before your own? I’m here to give you permission to start thinking about YOU.

I know putting yourself first is not easy. People need you! But we all need to reprogram ourselves and realize that we cannot truly care for anyone else unless we are putting our needs and emotions FIRST.

How can you understand and respond to the physical needs of someone else if you haven’t even listened to and heard the voice inside you, connecting you to your own needs? Blindly putting others’ needs before our own will not get us anywhere!

I am absolutely not saying, “Be selfish! Think only of yourself!” No way! We are all in this life together. We are vibrant and engaged beings who need to listen to each other and respect others. Therefore, we can’t just adopt a “me, me, me” attitude and run over everyone who gets in our way.

All I’m saying is that you need to listen to yourself first and be conscious of your emotions and what you need in your life to be joyful and present, to live a life in which all your dreams come true.

This life is right there within you! Listen close to the voices that are telling you to go for your dreams and go out and live the way you were meant to live!

Thank you for taking the time to read this blog.

Please make sure you check out THE OYA SHOW and subscribe on my youtube channel spiritofoya for more uplifting and positive messages to you be successful and shine like the star you are!

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post title background How to Celebrate You

How to Celebrate You!

I’m about to give you a powerful gift. Ready? I am giving you permission to celebrate YOU.

When was the last time you stopped running around and sat down to take stock of everything you’ve accomplished? If you’re anything like me, you’ve probably been running, running, running, pushing yourself to achieve, accomplish, reach your goals … and you probably haven’t taken much time to sit back and take a breath and recharge.

Maybe you feel like you’ve been running around like a chicken with your head cut off … or maybe you feel like you’re trying to live your dream but are coming up short. You might feel like you don’t “deserve” a break.

I definitely appreciate that I have the physical, mental, spiritual and emotional energy to run as much as I do, as it allows me to reach my goals, but there are times that we all need to sit back, take a break and celebrate ourselves and everything we do, even if for just a moment. After all, your beautiful life is in progress, and what’s the point if you can’t enjoy it every once in a while?

We’re creative people, and we get in the habit of putting out project after project – moving onto the next thing without taking even a beat.

When was the last time you stopped and smelled the roses?

I admire those who have the drive to keep going. But, there’s a difference between being persistent and pushing ahead towards accomplishment after accomplishment … and running yourself totally ragged.

I’m going to blow your mind: If you stop, the world isn’t going to fall apart, and no one is going to replace you. You are one of a kind! You will be more efficient and better equipped to reach your goals if you take a breath, dust yourself off, pat yourself on the back and recharge.

Now, maybe you’re in the middle of a project – a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that will only be around for a short time. That sort of “get it while it’s hot” situation will happen every once in a while, and sometimes you just have to keep powering through. But just make sure you take some time for yourself each month, quarter or year. Don’t let “get it while it’s hot” become “everything is hot, so I have to go get it!” Be selective, and know when to take some you time.

I know more than anyone that focusing on yourself like this – celebrating YOU by stepping away from the fire – can get tricky when you do what you love. Why would you want to step away?

Think about it this way: When you do what you love, you will feel that same level of energized when you take time off. Bask in a weekend of relaxation at a beautiful resort, enjoy a yummy, decadent meal out, or feel every inch of that massage, knowing that your hard work and joy is paying for all of it. You’ll bring that feeling back with you when you get back into the thick of it, and it will get you through the rough spots!

And there will be rough spots – times when your labors of love will feel like chores, when you feel stuck. Sometimes, these moments are the best times to relax, recharge and celebrate the work you have done. When you take a break and celebrate you and your hard work, you give yourself enough space for the answers about how to get through to the next goal to reveal themselves to you.

So please accept my gift: I joyfully give you permission to plan a getaway party for YOU. Why? YOU are worth it and YOU deserve it.

When the time is right, take a day, a long weekend, a week or even a month. Celebrate! You’re here, and you’re living your dream!

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post title background Grow into Your Greatness with Positive Thoughts

考える女性Stop what you’re doing, and clear your mind.

What are you thinking right now?

What were you thinking right before you clicked on this?

What were you thinking about when you woke up this morning?

What do you think about throughout the day?

Our thoughts have great power. Thoughts can lift you up, or they can bring you down. And they can encourage you to be a mover and a shaker … or to stay stagnant and paralyzed, inactive.

With that in mind, think about this powerful idea:  What we tell ourselves can change our lives.

Try to put that idea into perspective:  As soon as you wake up, what do you think about?

Perhaps you’re one of those lucky people who are always filled with positive thoughts:  “It’s going to be a beautiful day!”

But you may feel like all of us do from time to time, and you might be thinking, “Oh Lord, let me get through this day … I am not looking forward to this day … I cannot wait for this day to be over” the second you open your eyes.

If this describes how you view most of your days, let me get real with you:  You are not giving the day a chance. If you are filled with dread the moment you are conscious, you have already put out dark energy for your day’s journey instead of sending out protective, loving light filled with possibility.

Why are you making it so hard for yourself?

I know, I know. It is not always easy, but as I always say, it doesn’t have to be hard.

Schakelaar negatief naar positiefThe truth is, we have a choice about how we decide to think. We can think in whichever way we choose, no matter what anyone says to us and no matter what chaos is going on around us. We get to work with our thoughts for the better, and this means we can change our negative thoughts into positive thoughts.

You have the power to see yourself for who you really are instead of be the person your negative thoughts are trying to turn you into.

Negative thoughts can tell you lies.

“I can’t do this.”

“I am ugly.”

“I am not good enough.”

This day is going to be horrible.”

“I am not worthy.”

But positive thoughts can reveal who you truly are and support you as you shine your light into the world.

“I can do this.”

“I am beautiful.”

“I am great and have all the resources I need.”

“This is going to be a wonderful day filled with opportunities.”

“I am worthy.”

believe in yourselfIf changing the way you see your day scares you, or if you fear the possibility of disappointment, let me tell you, this shift in your thinking WILL change your life.

And changing your thinking is this:  When you have a negative thought, at any point in your day, go in there and figure out how to flip that negative into a positive.

It might take some practice, and you might have to spend some time convincing your mind that these new happy thoughts are true, but just go with it! Everything new takes some time to get used to. Knock out those negative thoughts and tell yourself the truth of your greatness. Even if you don’t believe it at first, you will eventually grow into it. You ARE worthy!

Now let me ask you:  Which negative thoughts are you going to wipe out today to boost you up and allow you to grow into the greatness you deserve? Which positive thoughts and affirmations will you fill yourself up with?

Tell me in the comments!

Wishing you the very best today and every day!


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  1. Claudette Parker
    July 2, 2016 at 6:48 am

    I will focus on today that I have breathe in my body life itself I am thankful! I am a miracle.

  2. Claudette Parker
    July 2, 2016 at 6:52 am

    Thank you for the encouragement. The work of spirituality is a good seed to sow.

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post title background Life is a Miracle

Jackpot with stars on white background - High quality 3D RenderI am always fascinated by human life and the science of anatomy. And you know what? Science proves just what miracles we all are. Just the fact that you are here means you won the lotto!

Think about it:  Hundreds of millions of sperm are released, and each sperm tries to go for the egg, but only one can win. Some sperm die, and others get lost while swimming the equivalent of several miles to the egg.

Finally, one lucky sperm penetrates and fertilizes the egg. And life has begun … your life.

The egg and the sperm join to make you the human being you are. Those two small cells come together, and a miracle begins. 23 chromosomes from Dad, and 23 from mom combine to give you the gift of DNA that will give you life. This is the fragile place where you once began before you turned into the little human being you once were.

Красивая беременная девушкаAs the months pass inside your mother’s body, so much could have happened — so much could have gone wrong. Yet, still, you developed into a healthy, thriving embryo.

Even before all your organs developed, your heart was beating. You had the pulse of life! (And I often think we connect with our hearts first in life because it is the first organ we get in the womb.)

And as an embryo, you began to develop into a fetus. Where there once was nothing, there was now a fetus — alive and kicking in the mother. You became something special that could be felt and seen.

And even as your mother hit the last trimester, and you got ready to emerge into the world, there were so many things that could’ve gone wrong. But guess what? You are reading this! You survived! You are here.

Certainly, when you were first born into the world as a baby, you were fragile. But you made it through those delicate baby years, and then you even made it through your childhood. You learned to be alive and to live in the beautiful world.

Sperm and EggAnd then, after all you’d been through, you gained your independence and began to express your personality, your purpose, your light and all you fought through to come into this world — those important and unique pieces of you that you still carry with you right now. As I say in my song “Pledge to Love You”:  Share, create and express. You came to do this. You have the chance and the gift of life.

Knowing what an amazing and miraculous thing it is that you are here, what are you waiting for? What is holding you back from living a beautiful, blessed and powerful life?

I’m not saying we don’t all have issues. But I am asking you to think of all the strength that has been inside you since your conception. Think of why you came here and about your life’s purpose. Are you really going to give that up now, after all you’ve endured?

I believe with all my being that we all came here for a reason, and I, for one do not want to waste my breath of life. Because, the harsh reality is that just as we are fortunate to be given life, so shall we perish. And at the end, I always say I would like to have tears of joy for what I did in this life instead of tears of regret. And we all have an opportunity to experience this joy every day!

Because, it’s true:  You’ve won the lotto, because you are here! Now, find something magical to do with your winnings!

What do you want to leave behind? What is your legacy? It is different for everybody. But, what do you want your name to represent? What is your light, and the light you will leave for your children?

What do you want to do in this world?


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post title background Respect Yourself

RespectI have been thinking a lot about the definition of respect lately. What does that word mean, exactly? The dictionary tells us that respect is “a feeling of admiring someone or something that is good, valuable, important.” It is also “a feeling or understanding that someone or something is important, serious, etc., and should be treated in an appropriate way.”

After hearing these two definitions, can you say you respect yourself?

Many people are so wrapped up in not feeling like they are getting the respect they deserve. And they point fingers at their boss, boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife, children, friends and associates, blaming them for not respecting them. Before you point those same fingers, let’s look at how you respect yourself.

Maybe you’re thinking, “Wait … I respect myself!”

But, consider this:  Is it really all these other people who are rude, abusive and disrespectful? If you still feel like they are to blame, I encourage you to step outside of the things that are being said and done to you for a moment and meditate on yourself a bit.

Say someone is abusive to you. What do you say? “How dare you! You have the nerve to curse at me, say mean things to me and belittle me!” Your reaction is to get upset because someone is saying negative things to you or about you.

But think about it:  Are these things true? Likely, they are not! So, why are you allowing someone to hurt you by making judgments about you that are not true? If these judgments are untrue, does it really even matter that they are making them?

Perhaps the reason their words sting so much is because you think these thoughts about yourself. Are you hurt because they are judging you out loud the way you judge yourself in your own head?

If you are having these negative thoughts about yourself, what is the real issue?

The real issue is you think you are not worthy. And then, when your boss says you don’t deserve the raise, you totally flip out in anger. But is it just because they told you exactly what you are thinking?

Respect is a form of loveOr consider this scenario:  Maybe your partner told you that you are not a responsible person, and that they can’t trust you to handle business. You fought and fought about it as if you couldn’t believe it. But have you been constantly late on your share of taking care of the bills, dropping off rent and the tuition for your kids? Have you been neglecting to pick up the dry cleaning or that package you said you would pick up? The truth sometimes hurts.

As the saying goes, “In order to get respect, you must give it.” While respecting others is very important, life is not just about “doing unto others as you want them to do unto you.” But how about you do unto yourself as you want others to do unto you?

In other words, the actions we take, the thoughts we think, how we take care of ourselves and how we RESPECT ourselves will determine a great deal about our lives. It will also determine how people treat you.

In my own experience, I have found that the more respect I give to others and to MYSELF, the more respect that I get back on all levels:  personally and professionally.

When I respect the musicians who support me and treat them well by paying them promptly and properly, they give even more.

When I respect myself and ask for the rates I deserve for the time, talents and energy I am going to put into a show or a speaking engagement, what I am asking for flows to me.

If people know that I respect myself, they treat me with a lot more respect. How we feel about ourselves and and how we treat ourselves makes a difference!

Don’t get me wrong:  There is such a thing as slander and defamation of character, and it happens to even people who respect themselves and put out positive vibes to the world. When this occurs, the best defense is to respect yourself enough to live your life like the wonderful, talented person you know you are.

So, here’s my challenge to you:  Start to respect yourself… REALLY respect yourself! Know your light is worth shining, and share your many gifts with the world. If you do, I guarantee that others will respect you, and you will see the fruits of your labor come to you abundantly in your personal life and in your business.

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post title background The Real and Authentic You

"who are you"a cloud word on sky over clouds.“Who am I, and why am I here?”

So many of us get caught up in our busy, everyday routines that we never stop to ask ourselves about our mission in this life. We don’t stop, touch our chest where our heart beats, connect to our spirit and feel the glowing warmth within.

So, who are you?

This might feel like a big and crazy question to stop and think about sometimes, but you are a human being who gets to live and connect with the beauty of the spirit that resides within and is blessed to live through your body and make a difference in your own life and in the lives of others. Therefore, it is important to stop and connect with yourself and figure out why you are here and what truly gets you up in the morning.

I meet so many people who say they feel “stuck” in jobs that are not an expression of their authentic selves. They get up each day going to do work that does not allow them to freely engage in creative expression of their true selves. They are stifled and unable to shine their inner light fully. Is this how you want to live out the rest of your days? If you aren’t following the dreams in your heart now, when will you?

And think about this: When you are meeting someone for the first time, what do you want them to see? Do you want them to see a false, fictitious character just going through the motions of living, or do you want them to see the bright, inner you that is itching to get out and shine your light in the world?

It can be scary to dig deep down inside ourselves and shine a light on our dreams, but we all need to spend some time truly looking at ourselves to see how we can lead joyous, happy lives, sharing our inner gifts and making sure that every day we are alive we are living with purpose and making a difference.

I know “connecting” may not feel easy, but honestly, it is also not that hard. It may feel strange and even unnatural at first, but that’s just because you’re not used to it! And once you start connecting with your authentic self, you won’t want to stop! Because, there is just nothing like the feeling of connecting to the truth of YOU and living as exactly who you are. Living at the authentic self level makes everything beautiful, graceful, happy and peaceful!

I feel so present in my own life that sometimes the emotion makes me misty eyed. Of course, it was not always like this, and sometimes even I still have to push through challenging emotions in order to move to a new level. But once I push through the fear and anxiety on one project, moving onto the next project and the project after that gets easier and easier.

Getting through the major fear, anxiety, judgments and negative self-talk or fear of what someone will think about your dreams or vision is a major part of living authentically. But once you learn who you are, why you are here and to stand firmly in your own light, overcoming these roadblocks will come easily to you, and you will be able to move forward with confidence.

be-who-want-beThe glow I feel in my own day to day and when helping others enjoy the peace of living an authentic life rooted in their dreams is what motivated me to write my book, The 5 Star Points for Success:  Manifest your Dreams, Live Your Life’s Purpose. I see so many people who want a “quick fix” for their lives, not realizing that any major life change is a process that requires some work. I continue to share my 5 Star Points system to help provide a structure for this work, because I want others to feel fulfilled, stay on top and reach even beyond that top to greater things for their soul and for the world.

So, I invite you to take the opportunity today to speak, meditate and connect with your true self. Look into that mirror and say, “Who am I, and why I am I here?” And answer yourself honestly! There is no better day than today to be you and live YOUR unique, special life. And when you lead this blessed life, you will inspire others to do the same with their own.

What are you waiting for?

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post title background Shine Your Light through Education

I was recently asked to speak about my book The Five Star Points for Success at a high school. They were about to take their year-end finals, and the administration called upon me to encourage and inspire the students by sharing with them how important education has been to manifesting my dreams and achieving my life’s purpose. I was thrilled, because education has been absolutely critical to my personal growth and my life’s successes.

Many people in the entertainment industry believe that you don’t have to go to school in order to succeed. While I do not think that everyone absolutely has to go to college, I believe what my high school economics teacher, Mr. Mitzenberg told me: “Ms. Thomas, I believe you will make it in this world on a large scale whether you go to college or not. However, I firmly believe that if you go to college, it will open many doors for you.”

Why do I believe this? Because he was absolutely right!

Finishing college instilled me with that fulfilling sense of pride that comes from completing something very challenging and important. Of course, college was often extremely difficult! I was up late hours and had to live off four hours of sleep at times due to studying and working on papers that I sometimes did not want to do. But being able to endure those challenges instilled me with the skills to endure those same rough days and nights that I have come across working on my companies.

Now, I love being on stage, singing and speaking. And I love writing and producing my music and a wide variety of projects for clients. I also love running workshops and coaching other creative spirits. But you just cannot do all of that without advance preparation and the ability to truly work hard and have the mindset of finishing what you start!

The years I spent in school taught me so much. They made me mentally strong, and they helped me realize I can truly do anything. When challenges rear their ugly heads, I never say, “I can’t,” because I know I can! I remember my time spent working hard to complete my degrees and just think, “Been there, done that!” And then the challenges do not seem so daunting.

Whenever I have to face deadlines now, I know I can meet them under any and all circumstances. While I am college educated and have a master’s degree, and I enjoyed many classes I took and used a lot of the information I learned along the way, there were still some classes I took that made me wonder why I was there and what the point was. But even those classes were part of my evolution as an artist, performer, business woman and coach. They played a part in my personal development and helped make me, me!

This development is so imperative; that is why I am sharing this post with you. I especially want the teenagers reading this to understand that there is a purpose to learning and to education. Even though, because I work in entertainment, some of my life is so-called “glamorous,” there are other times I have to do a lot of paperwork and what others would call “busywork” for my business. I do not want to, but I have to! It is part of the work I have to do to keep my company, my career and my dream alive and well!

I am going to get real with you: You are going to experience some growing pains as you work towards manifesting your dreams. But you can’t give up! There will be hours you have to put into everything, and these hours will start in high school and continue on into college and with your first jobs and projects. When these “hard times” hit, they can make you or break you!

Getting good grades opened doors for me that I could not have imagined when I was a teenager. As the old saying goes, “If I knew what I knew now …” Certainly, you can look back on anything in your life with an older and wiser perspective and think of what you could’ve done better or just differently. This is just what happens! Many students do not think school is important, and this causes them to let go and lose focus, unaware they are making one of the biggest mistakes of their life. Many of these students will drop out or get bad grades. Even if they graduate, they will be left behind as their friends move forward. They are left behind and either get stuck with the others that either did not push to work hard, or end up on their own without support, working in jobs that neither pay well, fulfill them, nor allow them to fully shine their light and achieve their goals.

Let me ask you this: What kind of person would hire someone who did not strive to do their best in school or in life, who did not go on to an institution of higher learning or push themselves to the limit in order to pursue something they are passionate about and to achieve great things?

Now, who would hire you if you had good grades and were on the college track? Who would assist you if you had your own company or even just a great idea for a company that you were pushing to bring to fruition? I started my first business in high school, and I have never regretted it! It was hard work, but it put me on the right track and helped me get on the path towards manifesting my dreams.

I implore you to thrive, soar and exercise your mind so you can allow it to grow! Education is key. And now I recognize that when my economics teacher said that education would open more doors for me, it was 100-percent true! It has indeed opened big doors. I am not even sure I would’ve gone to college had it not been what Mr. Mitzenberg said to me. Now, there are people who hire me to this day because of my achievements as an author and speaker — achievements I would have not been able to accomplish had I not gone to college and graduate school.

As a teenager, you are being bombarded by new experiences, and you might feel like your emotions are all over the place as you navigate the road to adulthood and independence. The outcome of your decisions during this time will have an impact on your entire life, but it can be a real struggle sometimes to make these decisions when you are faced with pressure and criticism from your friends and even the adults in your life. All this pressure might make you feel like you can’t truly shine – like you might not be able to do something fantastic with your life.

The type of education you pursue depends on what you would like to do with your life and which career you choose, but no matter what you choose, pursuing education will make you even stronger and better than you ever imagined you could be! It will help you make those tough decisions even when you feel there is too much chaos, so your light and spirit can shine bright!

And I’m here to tell you that with the right tools — including education! — you can cultivate your dreams and dare to make a big plan for your life. You will feel empowered enough to seize all the opportunities and possibilities that are going to come your way!

So, to all you teenagers: If you did not do well last semester, I want to encourage you to do some thinking over the summer about your dreams and what you would like for your life, and get into a place where you are ready to commit with all your heart in the fall.

For those adults who left school or never went at all, I want to motivate you to go for it! Get your GED, go to college (no matter what your age) and find your passion — something to study and work towards that makes your heart sing!

And I would also like to encourage parents of teens to talk to their kids. Encourage them! Get them involved in workshops that inspire them or connect them with mentors — whatever it takes! Because, high school is really a big deal. Take it from me: Going to college can be the key that unlocks the door to a happy, prosperous life!

One of the things I enjoy most is helping teens find the strength to connect with themselves so they can find their life’s purpose and live out their dreams. I even have a “Teen Dream Makers” workshop that I designed especially for them! There’s a video of me below speaking in front of a group of young people. I hope my words can make an impact in your life and inspire you or someone close to you to keep shining bright!

Please click to watch video :)


Screen Shot 2015-06-10 at 7.56.06 PM

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post title background Stop, I repeat, STOP calling yourself and other women “Bitch”! – A Post for All You Powerful Women: Stand in Your Own Radiance!

A Post for All You Powerful Women:  Stand in Your Own Radiance!


I have been super busy with some exciting new projects (including pre-production on The 5 Star Points for Success audio book and loads of new music!) as I continue to transform the Spirit of Oya brand, so I have been away from my blog for a while. But I had to stop everything to write this post, because there is a phenomenon going on among women that really concerns me.


I have been talking about this subject for some time and expressing my opinion about it on the radio and in interviews. So, here it goes:


Stop, I repeat, STOP calling yourself and other women “Bitch”!


It seems like everywhere I go, I hear women referring to themselves as a “bitch” as if it is some kind of term of endearment. I was just in Las Vegas for the crowded Mayweather-Pacquiao fight weekend, and it seemed as though there was some kind of selfie video war going on. Women were taking videos of themselves saying, “Hey bitch,” or “What up, bitches?” or “I’m the baddest bitch up in this bitch!”


What?! It left me confused and dismayed.


Let’s take a time-out and clarify some definitions and terminology, so you can better understand where I am coming from and why the attitude of these women concerns me. Here’s the technical nitty gritty behind the word “bitch,” according to Merriam-Webster.








  1. the female of the dog or some other carnivorous mammals

  2. a :  a lewd or immoral woman

           b :  a malicious, spiteful, or overbearing woman —sometimes used as a generalized term of abuse


  1. something that is extremely difficult, objectionable, or unpleasant

A few other meanings of bitch many of us know:  the term a pimp uses when referring to his prostitutes; someone with strong sexual desire comparable to a dog in heat that will jump on anything she can.


Now, especially if you frequently refer to yourself or others as “bitches,” think about those definitions of the term and ask yourself …


“Am I still a bitch?”

“Do I really want to be the ‘baddest bitch’?”

If someone said, “Let me see the real bitches out there! Stand up” … would you really stand up?


I am not trying to take any fun out of your day, nor am I a super conservative person (not by a long shot!) … but unless you are, by definition, a bitch, I implore you to stop using that negative word when talking about yourself or other women. Why are you demeaning yourself, your female friends and sisters around the world? Then next time someone asks, “Where are my bad bitches” I hope you will join me in keeping your beautiful soul in your seat!


As a woman, why are you allowing people to treat you as anything less than a queen? Being a “bitch” is not cool, so let’s all honor and love ourselves. When someone, whether a man or a woman, walks into a room or stands up on a stage and says, “Where are my real queens?” I hope you will stand up proudly and scream!


Society brainwashes us to hear words like “bitch” and think nothing of it. This negative language is in our music, our films and in the air all around us, swirling around in casual conversation. I am not insinuating that there are not people who embody some of the negative definitions of the word “bitch” through their actions (even though I do not like using that word at all the definition of the word is the definition of the word that describes something specific). But, if you do not embody what that word represents, why are you throwing that term around and thinking it is cool? It is not fun or fashionable, and unless you are turning tricks for a living or suddenly turn into a different species, you shouldn’t stand for anyone using “bitch” to describe you.


I realize my words on this subject may sound harsh, but I feel that staying silent about it is more destructive. The use of the word “bitch” is a worldwide epidemic, infesting the minds of boys, girls, men and women and taking away from all of us letting our lights shine bright.


You are probably wondering what got me so riled up about this topic, so I’ll tell you: 1. Constantly hearing women use this word outside of the definition demeaning each other and lowering their vibration 2. Someone posted a comment on a picture I posted on my Spirit of Oya Facebook page from a celebratory event the boxer Floyd Mayweather threw after his big win, during what was a very fun and fabulous weekend. This gentleman commenter said, “F$%k with him, bitch.”



When I read it, I thought, Wow. Now, I do not think he meant any harm or thinks I am a “bitch” by definition (especially with all the positive and uplifting messages I post on social media). So, the fact that he played so fast and loose with his language in the comment really shocked me … but it also made me realize that he felt at liberty to say this to me, a virtual stranger, because so many people think this type of language is acceptable and cool.


The comment made on my photo is indicative of a larger problem:  There is a general lack of respect for humankind among many people. And this particular comment implied a few things:  first of all, it implied that a woman (in this case me!) would be dishonest or in general “screw” with a man just because he has money.


Note that I said woman, because I am a woman! I am a queen (and so are you)! And I am certainly happy for him and his big payday. But, I also know that while it is fantastic to have it, money does not buy happiness so this public comment and numerous private messages that were saying all kinds of things about what they would do for and to Mayweather if they had the opportunity encouraged me to do this blog. There were many comments left about what they would do to get a little bit of that money that he just made and how happy they would be. This is not cool and it really concerns me.

I know many people with money that are not happy, because I have personally coached them. What did they discover? That their happiness had nothing to do with money. Money can certainly help you have  a blast and do great things, but if your soul is not right, and your spirit is not happy, you will not feel fulfilled or be able to manifest your dreams and live your life’s purpose. Selling your soul for money is not going to make you happy!  So needless to say getting with a man solely because he has a lot of money is not worth it.


In addition, while I am talking about this picture let me address this. After I posted the picture in question, a lot of people sent me private messages asking me why I would take a picture with such an “egomaniac,” and a number of other negative words and phrases.


Because I respect his work ethic, I took a picture with him at his party. I was and am happy for this man who was once again victorious in the ring and accomplished something no one else ever has in the history of the sport of boxing regardless of what you think of his fighting style or his opponents. The truth is, he set out to accomplish a goal, and he attained that goal.


The fact of the matter is, a fighter with a record of 48-0 is a hardworking athlete and man. If you experienced any part of his workout, you would likely fall out and be rushed to the hospital. As someone who follows her own dreams and encourages others to do the same, I personally appreciate his determination, his belief in himself and the fact that he has taken the action steps to achieve his goals.


Now, in closing let’s think about this word “bitch” again. How can you expect men, women or anyone else to respect you if you call yourself a “bitch” or answer to that word? If someone said, “What’s up, bitch?” to me, I would look around for someone else or not acknowledge the person; this is not my name, nor is it who I represent.


Try this:  Look at yourself in the mirror and say, “I am a woman. I am a lady.”


Now, let’s look at some definitions of the word “lady.”






  1. a woman who is refined, polite and well-spoken

  2. a woman of high social position or economic class

  3. a man’s wife


How about for the word “queen”?






  1. a woman eminent in rank, power or attractions

  2. a goddess or a thing personified as female and having supremacy in a specified realm

  3. an attractive girl or woman

  4. the fertile fully developed female of social bees, ants and termites whose function is to lay eggs

Now that I’ve been able to vent a bit to you … where are my beautiful rays of light? Where are my queens? What definition fits you? On a similar note, where are my KINGS? Please share this with young girls and boys that think using this word is super cool. Let me hear your thoughts!  What do you think about how everyone casually and fashionably using this word bitch? What can we do to support our young men and women to think of themselves as Queens and Kings? Come forward and comment!


Peace and Blessings,

Oya :)

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