Spirit of Oya

Energizing Through Music & Art

Get to know OYA with the FREE single “LOVE,” from her debut album Spirit of Oya. This groovy original shows OYA’s gifts as a songwriter and mixes together ingredients from R&B, Pop and Reggae into a flavorful treat. You’ll also be entered into a monthly drawing to win the

post title background Support Your Growth through Patience, Love

I believe in the theory behind the saying, “A closed mouth does not get fed.” But I also believe there are times we need to sit back, be patient and see what happens.

Of course, sitting around and waiting for something to happen instead of going out and seizing the opportunity is not something I typically promote as part of my life philosophy. But when it comes to matters of the heart – and even some business situations – I think staying still and quiet, watching and observing is sometimes the best route for us to take.

Now, personally, I do not want anyone to feel obligated or forced to do something for me personally or professionally. And this means that sometimes I need to sit back and see what someone is going to do before I make a decision or move forward. In my opinion, when you put in your share of the work on a relationship, project, task or anything else important and trust the other person and that person’s talent and expertise, you need to give that person a chance to do their part of the work … or not. Being patient with others and sitting back to give them space to step up also helps you to gauge how serious they are. While I have a difficult time using the word “should,” because it implies an obligation, in this scenario, it is important: Thinking about what you think someone “should” do when partnering with you as part of a professional project or even as part of a personal relationship and observing what they actually end up doing will help you know if the two of you are a match.

Sometimes, when you see potential in someone else for a long-term personal or professional relationship, it makes sense to have a conversation about your expectations. But other times, you can see the level of integrity and character in someone by their actions –what that person chooses to do (or not do), naturally, without prodding, on their own.

That being said, I like to engage with people that are like minded and like hearted, in friendships, romantic relationships and professional partnerships. I don’t want to have to constantly remind someone to put work into the relationship, because, over an extended period of time, this process completely drains your energy. And at this stage in my life, while I have boundless energy for exciting work and beautiful experiences, I do not have energy for relationships and situations that will exhaust me and ultimately will not be worth my time and dedication.

We all have to be careful and selective about how we invest our time and energy. We often get wrapped up in trying to get someone to take action by showing them the way, only to find out later that we have wasted our precious time and energy, because this person does not believe in us and what we are doing. Sometimes these types of people don’t even believe in themselves. And we must be incredibly cautious about who we invite into our lives and our businesses.

When you are thinking about choosing a partner, whether for personal or business relationships, think about the word “partner” itself. Make sure you are choosing someone worth your time and energy, who is really invested in you, your passions and what you are doing with your life. An ideal partner is someone that will get truly excited about the idea of joining forces with you and supporting your dreams. Therefore, you have to choose a partner that you do not have to push all the time to do what is best for the relationship or your business – someone who is naturally and organically on the same page most of the time.

Don’t get me wrong: Sometimes we all need a push. But someone that is motivated, passionate and excited about you and your life will continue to inspire you. If you’re always forcing your partner to do everything, how will you know whether or not that person really wants to be there for you? Putting all your energy into pushing someone to do their part does not create a balanced, healthy or happy partnership.

And on a positive note … isn’t it a wonderful feeling when someone comes to you with an exciting idea and a real spark without you having to ask for it? When this happens, you know that person is genuinely on your team and has your best interests at heart. There are times, even in the healthiest relationships, when you will need to speak up and ask for what you need. But it is wonderful when you are able to sit back and delight in the fact that you have attracted someone in your life that understands what it means to care and love and can get the job done.

I believe in the amazing power of partnerships. It takes a lot of weight off you to have a partner. You get to share, develop and grow together and bounce ideas off each other. This is why you need to make sure you find a partner you trust that will support your dreams as much as you support theirs and help you shine your light, so you can both have fun creating something special together.

One of the reasons I keep this blog is because I want to help others choose people and situations that will help them foster their dreams and avoid those that will distract them and take them away from their important mission on the earth. I want us all to find ways to support each other and help each other to the top. And there is nothing quite like the feeling of completing a project and being able to celebrate that completion with a partner.

I will never forget the people that supported me in making my first CD. That project was fulfilling because I enlisted the help of people that believed in me as much as I believed in them, and we were able to make beautiful music together.

Finding special people that can think big, believe in you and encourage you to go for your dreams is critical to your personal and professional growth. As you forge ahead into the New Year, may you find great partners that will help you shine your bright light in the world and achieve what lives deepest in your heart!

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