Sometimes I find myself wanting something that is not good for me – that will hold me back from my life’s purpose. And I might get so involved in this dark thing on a daily, weekly or monthly basis that I cannot focus on the light, and it brings me down. I strive to manifest all the good things I know are inside me, but the distractions are thick and deep, emotionally embedded in my soul, and I feel like something powerful has a hold on me.
But my spirit continues to fight this darkness in order to find something better. I feel so miserable when I am giving into this darkness and these bad habits. It feels good at the time, but then I figuratively wake up in that negative space, or wake up literally in the morning hung over with nothing accomplished and wonder why I made the decisions I made. I know I could have been acting more positively and taking care of myself better, but I feel terrible. And on top of it, I have to get up and try to create, which normally brings me so much joy, but for one moment in time brings me so much pain. I am left empty. And I know I have so much more to offer.
Have you ever felt like this?
I have heard so many people tell stories like this – that something has a hold on them and is possessing them to do things that do not reflect what is truly in their heart and that are not good for them. Learning how to move from this darkness into the light and learning we are worth more than the things we do to destroy our temples is a process many of us have to go through.
Ask yourself this question: “Why do I continue to do these things when I know it is not what I want and will not get me to a beautiful place full of light and happiness?”
Food addiction, alcohol and drug addiction, sex addition or holding onto partners or friends that will keep you in a dark space all hold you back from manifesting your dreams. But all is not lost, because you are so close – right there, ready to have what you want in your life. You are simply choosing to continue to partake in behaviors that sweep you away and distract you from spreading your light.
We all have to be very careful. It is so easy to get caught up in negative situations without even realizing how we got there. What seems like days can turn into weeks, months or years, and you might find yourself saying, “How did I waste a whole year thinking this way/being in this condition/being with this person? That is not the energy I want or need.”
The truth is that if you feel your spirit is being sucked dry, you can’t blame it on others. We all have to take responsibility for the position we put ourselves in. We might hate where we are, but that attitude is very unhealthy if we do nothing about it. If you keep repeating the same behavior that is taking you nowhere or sending you spiraling down, you have to take a close look at yourself. What are you doing to hurt your growth and development?
For example, you might say you want to save money to do something special for yourself or build a business, but if you are out every night spending all your money, this is not helping you achieve your goal. If you are an artist, you might say you want to be healthy so you can perform at your best. But then you do not sleep or eat right, you use drugs, alcohol or stay out late every night partying, and your look, your voice or the art of movement in dance leaves you because you are not taking care of your instrument and your temple.
You might enjoy hanging out drinking with your friends at night. But then the next day, you have a show or an important engagement and you sound horrible, you feel exhausted. You have to ask yourself, “Was it worth it?”
If you are allowing yourself to get stuck in a rut of negative behaviors, you have to face reality: You are killing the very thing you have been blessed with – YOURSELF. Your talents can’t shine if you are on a dark path. It might be fun at the time, but where is it really taking you?
As we get ready to move into 2014, let’s make some difficult decisions about life. You have to want to be the best for yourself. In the entertainment industry especially, we can get caught up in darkness very easily … but this can happen in any industry or with any lifestyle. If you want to live a good, clean, happy and healthy life, you have to make a conscious decision about your dreams and goals and then follow through with it.
We all have to use our mind, body and spirit, but this is especially true for artists, singers, musicians and dancers. You can’t just pack your instrument in a suitcase and let it rest. You have to nurture it if you want to live a full creative life.
Make the important decision to protect yourself, so you can live your life’s purpose fully and move into the light with no regrets!